Teachers and parents are the best role model to students, so we should make it a priority to
start early by building great relationships among siblings and young children at home
and in the school environment.
The following are ways to raise children who love and care for each other:
1. Teach the children to have a “we and us” mentality, not an “I and me” mentality. Tell your children at home or in class that we are a team and each person’s action is affecting one another. Children need to be reminded often enough for this to sink in to their system.
2. Demonstrate and teach them positive ways to work through arguments. How do you work through conflict with other people? Do you yell and scream at each other? Or do you sit down peacefully and work out your problems in a rational manner? You must learn how to work through arguments yourself before you teach your children to do the same. Sit down with them and talk them through the process. Teach them that there are positive, constructive ways to deal with issues that upset them.
3. Acknowledge and encourage. Never make remarks comparing between the children. Learn to acknowledge all big and small accomplishments of a child and celebrate all achievements as a team. Have the children congratulate each other as one child’s accomplishment belongs to the team because of the team’s support and encouragement. This is again the cultivation of the “we and us mentality”. Remind them that each of them are unique and always do their best at any of their endeavour.
4. Teach them about respecting each other’s personal space and possessions. When the personal space is crossed, there is usually a conflict. Teach the children that sometimes people need personal space and alone time. When they want to borrow someone else’s toy or belongings, teach them how to ask for permission with respect, and learn to deal with it if the answer is “no”.
5. Show the children how to give and to receive an apology. Demonstrate the right way of apologising: Make them look at each other in the eyes, speak clearly, say “I am sorry” repeatedly until they sound like they really mean it. Remind them that it’s easy to say “I am sorry” it is more important to change the behaviour. It is also important that children know why they are apologizing--because they’re willing to change, and not because they want to get out of trouble.
6. Constantly remind children that they are not the centre of the world (although they might be the center of your world!). This simple fact has to be taught early so that they are able to get along well with others from the beginning. This is again the development of the “we and us mentality”
7. Be a good role model. As a teacher or parents to these children, it is important for you to show them how to love and care for other people through your own actions. Children learn more through observation of your behaviour rather than listening to your words.
The next few points are more applicable in family situations:
8. Always build each other up, not just in front of each other but also behind their backs. When talking about others, make sure that the words which you use are positive. Use words that are constructive rather than negative and destroying. Never ever make yourself the bad role model or to use critical language in front of children--this includes gossiping about other people!
9. Encouraging the children to buy gifts for each other. It’s about giving and having good thoughts for each other. One thing I have done as a parent is talk to my first child about the newborn baby, and giving her gifts saying it’s from her new younger sibling. This prepared my first daughter for the change and made her excited about the new baby’s arrival.
10. Create positive family routines. For example, having regular family dinners together. Some families pray before mealtime--in addition to this we can create a ritual where everyone will have the chance to express their love and appreciation about other family members. This creates the love and appreciation for everyone in the family which will eventually become a healthy habit at home.
11. Encourage the expression of love and affection at home. Have them say, “I love you”, use words of encouragement and hug each other. This can be a great way of expression for love and appreciation when we meet and saying goodbye to another person too.