REWARDS
What does Little Shepherd say about this?
What are the common rewards (That give quick results) in the culture of most schools--stickers, chops, stationery etc
Do you ever offer incentives to encourage good behaviour? Or good grades in school?
The concept is that behaviour which is rewarded is more likely to be repeated.
The problem with reward is how it works.
Research suggests that providing physical rewards for doing something undermines the development of any internal or intrinsic motivation to do the very same thing.
e.g. if children doing well in school are rewarded, their motivation for learning might be completely based on receiving rewards, not by any inherent appreciation for knowledge.
Giving children rewards for doing well in school only reinforces extrinsic motivation for learning and hinders enthusiasm for its inherent value.
Reward systems - relationships become transactional (promotes a transactional model for good behavior). Transactional relationships: Creates short term relationship culture. No real trust in relationships. Affects how children think about relationships.
Studies have shown that offering children tangible rewards in exchange for caring behaviour may diminish future helpful behavior and can erode childrens’ innate tendency to help others.
For children raised in reward economy, 2 problems:
Market norms tend to overpower social norms. Shifting the focus from relationship to commerce.
Invisible force that stops our decisions e.g. parents giving stickers to children, long term implication: provides short term satisfactory solutions but the cost? What happens if children think of their existence in the family as a job?
Other behaviours cultivated through the reward system: selfishness (only think of themselves to get the reward), inauthenticity (children doing it just to please)
What about the value of cooperation, collaboration and teamwork in the children? We contradict ourselves in the training?
Giving positive social attention is the most powerful: give affirmation & encouragement through words of appreciation.
PUNISHMENT
In theory, punishment should suppress inappropriate behaviour totally, but this is rarely the actual result.
Corporal punishment is infliction of physical pain on someone convicted of wrongdoing. Examples include spanking a child. There is a thin line between corporal punishment and child abuse. It does not teach the child self-discipline or responsibility but conveys the message that harming or hurting others is acceptable. Corporal punishment has b
een found to be linked to childhood aggression and anti-social behaviour.
Punishment is different from discipline. LIttle Shepherd disciplines children through respectful conversation and reasoning.
Discipline always carries a lesson which helps children to understand what appropriate behaviours are and why they have become accepted in our society. Disciplining children is really a means of teaching children how to better themselves.
Punishment simply teaches children that if they break rules they will suffer negative consequences. Punishment does not teach children why the rules are in place, why the rules are important, or how they can act in accordance to the rules. Punishment also does not teach children to be responsible or to take into account the thoughts, needs or experiences of others.
Effects of punishment: increased child aggression, antisocial behavior. Provokes fear in children, lowers intellectual achievement. Poor quality of parent-child relationships. Children come to fear for their possessions, privileges, preferences, even safety and wellbeing if they are routinely caused pain or harm in the name of punishment.
Negative
Very long term effects into their adult life (their worthiness). Lack of self esteem, lack of self love. Affect decision making processes in adulthood. Mental health problems, such as depression or lack of moral internalisation.
Properly disciplined children will grow to be happy, healthy and productive members of not just the family but society as well.