Patience

In the age of technology with the constant bombardment of information, young people are severely lacking in patience. In the past, we would write letters and wait for weeks to get a reply. Nowadays, children and even young adults expect to get the things they want within seconds.

Waiting for the right time to do or receive things is the ability to delay gratification. This is an essential skill that adds value to our lives. You may have heard of the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment: the researchers brought children into the lab, and placed one marshmallow in front of them. They told them they could eat it now, or wait and eat two later. Of course, some kids ate the marshmallow right away, and some waited to eat two. However, the most important part of the results they gathered was when they surveyed the kids who had made it to college—the children who delayed gratification for two marshmallows were more disciplined and performed better in their studies.

Besides using food as an incentive, such as reminding children to eat healthy food before treating them to dessert, there are various other ways to help children practice patience. Reminding them to wait their turn to speak in class, wait for their chance to play with a toy or wait for the rain to stop before going outside are all great ways to show children that waiting is a virtue that can be enjoyed instead of endured. Children may complain that they are bored while waiting—this is also a good chance to practice creativity: what can we do with what we have while we are waiting? It is good to treat these waiting activities as a conscious component of the waiting process, instead of using them as a distraction tactic. For example, when on a long bus ride, it can be fun to see who can count the most number of red cars, while noting that we are getting closer to our destination as we count more cars.

At the end of the waiting period, don’t forget to praise the children for being patient. Valuing this trait in them will create positive reinforcement that will foster patience in the child.